We Now Pause for this Summertime Favorite

Update!!! I have noticed an increase in traffic here, due to a large number of people experiencing the same issue with Sabrett's slimy Hot Dog debacle. As much as I would like to have you read my entire post, I can answer your question quickly. IF you opened your package of Sabrett Hot Dogs and they seem to be slimy, either coated or swimming in the clear goo -

They are BAD (Not fumigate the house bad, just mis-handled and no longer consumable)

Do not eat them (and if you have - don't panic; if you boiled or grilled the heck out of them and then ate them - you will survive, but watch out for symptoms of bacterial poisoning - and see a doctor)

To return - either toss them in a zip-lock and bring them back with your receipt- or- wash out the packaging (yuck) and save it for the information you will need when you inform Marathon foods (Sabretts owner-click here) that you want an explanation and a refund - they will comply.

Now, please read my story after the Jump, not only because misery loves company, but hopefully you will be able to laugh about this when the shock has passed.

So, summer is waning, too bad but I won't miss the weather, maybe we can look forward to the summer we were supposed to have had during Indian Summer. Truthfully, I am ready to accuse Mother Nature of being an Indian-giver. I remember when the worst thing you could call another kid was "Indian-giver". Now, every time I see one of those bus trip ads for Foxwoods, or Mohegan Sun casinos where they offer $50 dollars worth of chips and box lunch, I get the odd desire to say "Indian Giver!" 'cause you know they're gonna get it right back. You may think yelling at casino officials is a bad idea, but I don't have any reservations about it.

Anyway, I pause in the regular reflection of my passion for digging through the refuse of our throw-away society to relate an incident that occurred a short while ago. During the meal planning phase for the week ahead we try to find a few meals that we can make quickly and easily, this usually involves cooking on the grill. There is nothing simpler that Hot Dogs on the grill; they are fast, easy, and the kid will eat 2 of them (if we let her, which we don't).

Knowing what we know of the contents of a hot dog, and conveniently managed to forget, as long as the aftermath of the country's most common mystery meat presents no ill side effects . We are happy to take our chances. However, one evening as we planned to end another dog day of summer with dogs on the grill, we got an unpleasant surprise upon opening a package of Sabrett hot dogs.....slime! There is no way to accurately describe a package of dogs packed in clear slime. Other than to assume that these were Ghostbuster commemorative hot dogs, because that is as close as I can describe the similarity in slime. Clear, almost elastic in consistency, and nothing we had ever seen before, with no accompanying odor. That should have sealed the deal and ended dinner, but for a brief moment, and considering that what ever is really in hot dogs that hasn't killed us yet, what could a little slime do? So, I began to wash them off.

No, we didn't eat them. After washing, I called a my friend Tony and he advised us to chuck 'em. I figured, if he won't eat 'em, then neither would we. Who could we blame if we did? After coming up with an alternative plan for dinner I did some checking online, and found a few other inquiries about "Slimy Hot Dogs" none conclusively explaining what could cause this or whether eating them was caustic or deadly. One person did comment the she had contacted the company and was sent a full refund. So, I grabbed the packaging (now slime-free) and logged on to Sabrett's owner (Marathon Foods) and recorded my dissatisfaction with their slimy product.

I didn't get a response until we returned from vacation a week later but it was pretty obvious that the customer service robot was chugging away and handling customer complaints...

Fair enough, although the blue-colored lettering appears to indicate a sort of form email response, I fully expected my refund to follow in the mail under the guidance of the Marathon employee who sent the email (respectfully redacted). What came next in my in box I didn't expect and clearly indicated that while slimy dogs may be gross, it could have been worse...

BONES!!! I don't even want to know who's bones or the bones of what might end up in a package of hot dogs, or why. What's funny to me is, that when they were slimy, they knew the cause, however, with bones, there needs to be some kind of investigation, like they don't know how bones could make their way from the processing floor to the package. Uggh!

In the end, we received our refund. I almost expected 2, since it seems they believe I had two separate issues and both responses promise a refund. I appreciate the company's promptness in refunding our money, but I can't say my faith in hot dogs has been restored. I think from here on out well have to settle for Spam, vienna sausage, or Underwood deviled ham spread (remember that!?).